Life is a Mother ** and Anxiety is a B**!

If this post isn’t your first here, you know we have a lot of sh** going on. If you aren’t caught up – feel free to go back here and here to get up to speed. 

My family is making a huge change and taking a giant leap of faith with our decision to move across the country. Ultimately, I think this decision will be amazing for our family. But, with everything going on, all the moving parts (literally), the logistics, the changes – I have experienced some new emotions / feelings – mainly anxiety!

If asked, my close friends and family would say I’m generally calm, laid back and at baseline not an anxious person. Normally I would agree with that assessment too. But, in the last few months I’ve started experiencing some uncomfortable feelings. I’ve had several what I would call mild panic attacks – episodes of chest tightness, discomfort, general unease. These symptoms lasted only 15 or so minutes. However, long enough to be unnerving. 

After I had a second episode, I decided I needed to get some help. I had never considered therapy or counseling as an option for myself. It never felt like a necessary outlet. Don’t get me wrong,  I have recommended it countless times to my patients. Studies show that therapy alone or coupled with pharmaceutical treatment can be excellent in treating anxiety and depression.

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Now, I didn’t think I was to the point of trying any medications. I just felt like I needed to get an objective opinion and some professional guidance. I also knew I hated how I was feeling and didn’t want to waste any time getting any help. This is where a lot of people can struggle. It’s extremely difficult to admit when you need help. Especially as a woman, I think societal expectations can be so unfair. Go to work, be a great mom, clean the house, move across the country – and do it all with a smile! Ok, the last thing is only on my to do list, but still. I might be digressing a little, but coming from the standpoint of a working mom, the Rosie the Riveter, “we can do it! (all)” mindset is kind of bullshit.

To admit that, does not equal failure – I think too many of us have that mindset and that’s when it becomes too easy to just keep chugging along and not seek out help. To be honest, I felt really vulnerable even admitting to my husband that I was considering therapy. Luckily, he was extremely supportive and I felt very validated by our first conversation about it. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

So this is me, telling you – – if any of this is resonating with you, don’t be afraid to have those initial conversations and get the help you need!

I’ve had 3 sessions so far with my therapist, and I have found it to be such a productive outlet. I am working through my feelings, processing some of the emotions I’ve experienced and overall I’m feeling so much better. It has also been so convenient. My therapist does telemedicine and this makes it so much easier to work around my schedule.

Take Home Points for Managing Anxiety

Here are some lessons I’ve gotten from therapy, and things I’ve actually discussed with patients in my own clinical practice –

1. The pop bottle analogy – everything you have going on can go inside a pop bottle – when it’s not very full, to shake it up is no problem. But, when you start adding more and more – to shake it up, can end in disaster, a big mess! You have to find ways to keep that bottle at a manageable volume.
2. Grounding mechanisms – find something that in the moment of feeling anxious, you can do to get back into a calmer, better headspace. There are tons of examples of this online. The kicker with this though, is you should practice your technique prior to the moment you need it. I still need to work on this.
3. Self-care is not the holy grail for anxiety. This was my mentality prior to starting therapy. I thought if I increased my exercise, cut out social media, started painting my nails etc. then I could manage my feelings on my own. The problem with self-care as your only outlet is it requires planning and time. Sometimes you need more of a quick solution in a moment of need. See #2!

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If you have any tips or grounding techniques that work for you – drop them below! I would love to hear from you.

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Always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional, or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website.